Miss me?

Stupid  question…

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did or didn’t.  Like a retarded version of Lady and the Tiger, I leave you with the question.

For the first time in my weblogging life I’ve been tagged!  Webkittyn from Webkittyn Warbles and KMRL (Kittyn Mojo Radio Live) tagged me with the following:

6 Random Things

Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

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1. When I was 15 I broke 4 vertebrate.  Almost 22 years later, I sometimes still hobble around like an old woman (and lately I’ve resorted to using a cane).

2. I’ve been a vegetarian for 21 or so years.

3. Despite being a vegetarian, I love to go fishing.

4. Although I went to college for 16 years, I still haven’t managed to graduate.

5. I love mathematics.

6. I LOVE LOVE LOVE John Denver.

Now go forth and tag.

Severin

Soren

Jeckles (heehee)

Monique

Christopher

Tristan

Sunday, November 2, 2008.  3.30am.  I’m lounging on the floor in the back of a mini-van parked on a street in front of a friend’s house in the East Bay.  I’m half-dressed and have gonzo hair screaming in all directions from beneath my Cock Fight hat and the tee-shirt I am wearing is soaked in booze and rain and other substances.  In my left hand I hold a pipe–its contents still smoking–, in my right, a cigarette.  There is a bottle of bubbly snuggling between my thighs.  My companion is loopily trying to mop up a spilled bottle of wine with old socks and other items of discarded clothing.  I don’t attempt to help.  I watch and laugh and take drags from smoke and bottle and think on the absurdity of situations, not the least of which is reclining in the back of a mini-van in the first place. My companion opens a door and the combined scents inside the van rush out in a congested fume potent enough to get innocent passersby high.  I look at the scene from outside myself and it is one of the few times I wish I did not have an aversion to being photographed.  The near perfection of tableau makes me giddy.  This is, I say out loud, a malfouka moment. *

*If only we were in a 1970’s van…..

Went camping this past weekend on the California Central Coast.

I used to prefer ocean camping to mountain camping but things change and I now prefer the mountains.

Nevertheless, it was a very nice trip.  And in fact, I had such a good time that I did not ingest any of my usual pharmaceuticals.   I was prescription-drug free for three days—a minor miracle.  However, this is not to say that bubbly-swilling and medical cannabis smoking did not go on—that would be just plain silly….

In general, I tend to mix meds and booze, but for some reason, I just didn’t need or want the pharms this weekend.

My companion, of the adult-type, made me relaxed and stimulated, feeling good and cared for.  Perhaps this is the secret to not using drugs….

Though it’s a relief to know he’s probably not gay, it’s disturbing to find out he’s into bestiality….

Very bad malfouka!  Very bad!

You let things go too far.

Must become more disciplined.  It can’t always be sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll!

********************

Might have discovered a solution to my present living situation.  It’s a bit unconventional and, if implemented, will undoubtedly piss a couple (two, to be exact) of folks off (not that I really give too much of a shit—they’ve chosen their paths…) and make certain situations more awkward than they are already.  However, although probably not ideal, the proposed solution is mutually beneficial and could possibly work.  I’m excited.

He’s afraid.  Of course.

Yet in a way, I am now too.

Perhaps I will have his daughter.  Most likely not.  Tho’ if he could rip out my age as easily as my IUD, he would populate worlds.

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i said, “do not love me.”

yet, do they ever listen?

a goodlooking woman with sex in her eyes and loneliness in her skin.  dark hair curled upon pillows.  it was over, was all he heard.

and i blew you and your come dripped from my lips as i swallowed.  my hair wrapped in your fists.  and you wanted more.

fuck.

i can’t give you more.

The question is not why I’m a substance abuser but why I’m not a worse abuser than I am…

There is a person who is destroying me.  There aren’t enough drugs at my disposal to make things feel better.  No longer know what to do.

* From Dylan Thomas “The Force that Through the Green Fuse Drives the Flower”

I’m only incredible while I’m slathering over your cock.

In the dressed world, I’m not worth the spit.

Perhaps it’s time to stop fucking around and find something permanent.  This free-wheeling casualness could become a real problem.

This is Clarice:

She’s my constant smoking buddy.  She dangles a few inches from where I sit when I am outside smoking. And she’s about to become a Mommy! (Check out her egg sac on the left)
Yes, she is a Latrodectus mactans, or, if you prefer, a Black Widow spider.

I don’t have a problem with Black Widows—they do their thing, I do mine.  A Black Widow isn’t going to make a preemptive attack and, contrary to bad press, they’re less likely to cause harm than high fructose corn syrup.  In fact, I’d rather be in a room filled with Black Widows than in a country led by Sarah Palin.

As you can see, the site is no longer screwed up.  And I had nothing to do with its resurrection.  You see, I can do many things but I’m kinda a moron when it comes to fixing code.

That said, I want to thank the incomparable genius who, without me even having to ask, let alone beg, repaired the mess and got things back to (ab)normal.

Thank you Jeckles.  I owe you big time!

Jeckles Geek Blog

Shitty Blog Radio

I need to make an apology.   To you, Momo.

I’m an asshole.  I was blinded by my own selfish shit and didn’t think about what I was saying.

I miss you.

One of my girlfriends–and at this point, my best and, perhaps, only friend–drove down tonight to visit me in exiled place.

I love her madly.

Lately, I’ve managed to hurt, offend, alienate, etc. a number of loved folks and although I am miserable, I am also oddly pleased to have had the strength to walk away from those who have taken so much and given so little.

Yes, I love them all. And always will.

However, love doesn’t mean I have to swallow mouthful after mouthful of shit.