so our freeway collapsed. again. we seem to have a real problem with this sort of thing.
must say i’m kinda pleased. almost wish the promised earthquake (the “big one”) would take this opportunity to hit. the chaos would be amusing.
Archive for April, 2007
Amusing Mayhem
Sunday, April 29th, 2007Jack Off
Friday, April 27th, 2007having a cat named Jack has its upside–as i learned much too early this morning when his entire 20 pounds abruptly landed on my chest. “Jack. Off,” i commanded, irritated to have been awakened but almost immediately amused.
no
Friday, April 27th, 2007not gonna do it. nope.
litwit
Thursday, April 26th, 2007Howl by Allen Ginsberg (1956)
I
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats
floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz, (more…)
sunrise
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007it’s 5:36 a.m. and i have this kinda strange goal. i want to watch the sun rise above the Golden Gate Bridge.
now, if you know anything about anything, you will undoubtedly realise that in order to accomplish such a thing, one must be out in the Pacific facing towards the Bay.
anyway, as soon as i can finish up the shit i need to, the USS Baby Noodles and i (with or without the crew of shirtless 18 year-old boys) will round out our nights watching the Bridge come to life.
to good use
Tuesday, April 24th, 2007aside from being sick with some particularly stupid virus the past week and 1/2—which really cuts into my cigarette and booze time—, it seems that all i’ve been doing is crying, vomiting from anxiety, and feeling the most profound despair i can ever remember feeling. however, in the midst of all this physical and emotional shit, in between lying in bed, obsessively checking for email and telephone messages, and going through enough tissues to comfortably pad a small windowless cell, i’ve written reams.
tonight while driving to the cheerless little gas station i frequent (after all, smoking must go on…), i thought about this. thought about this literal surge of words and, not for the first time, wondered what the fuck i’m doing.
you see, there is one thing i can do. one thing i can do well. and it’s always been with me.
perhaps it’s time to put this anguish to good use.
want
Monday, April 23rd, 2007Remember sitting on your lap at my table. your arms around me. the candles were burning low and we were drunk on wine and cooking and being together.
Those around the table had never seen us like this and looked covertly… pleased. Our desire was thick yet we were cool in our sex.
Your arms encircling my hips and my fingers wandering down to your intersection and back up to unleash your curls.
My body on yours in conversation. Wanting to reverse and straddle. And make you suck in air.
Sitting on your lap at my table with your arms around my hips and flames dying in wax. All I wanted was to banish the onlookers and make you naked beneath the last of the light.
Protected: password:my last name
Sunday, April 22nd, 2007Philip M Parker!
Friday, April 20th, 2007every time i start to seriously consider jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, something like THIS comes along. thank goddess for Philip M Parker!
I’ve written a review (it has not yet posted):
“I first heard of Philip M Parker when a good friend of mine lent me her copy of The 2007-2012 Outlook for Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs in the United States. Man! Let me tell you, this cat can write! So, when I saw that Amazon.com had a copy of Parker’s “The World Market for Machinery Used in the Grain Milling Industry or for the Working of Cereals or Dried Leguminous Vegetables Excluding Farm-Type Machinery: A 2007 Global Trade Perspective”, I was so excited I nearly wet my pants. Anyway, to make a long story short, I absolutely DEVOURED this book and although “The 2007-2012 Outlook for Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs in the United States” remains an underground sensation*, Parker has managed to mature in both his approach to complicated themes and handling of subtext while refining his awesome mastery over subtle humour and complex satire.
This is a must read!”
*thanks darlin’!
the one
Friday, April 20th, 2007but if there can’t be the ONE, i can not
settle. ever again. and maybe this
is where we differ. can’t be with someone
who is not my match. and i am frightened.
just wanna be with my match. just want to
be with someone who gets it. one who loves
the same stupid shit. loves the non-stupid
shit. just want to be with the one who is
beautiful to me and i to him. want
to be with the one with whom i can be
base and naked and he with i. and i
want to be with the one with whom there are
no secrets.
le generation gap
Thursday, April 19th, 2007the other day i was speeding down I-5 —from San Francisco to the San Joaquin Valley (otherwise known as the syphilitic crotch of California)—and experienced something i had never imagined happening: my kids yelled at me to turn down the stereo. yelled at me to turn down the stereo that was blasting rock-n-roll.
i was truly perplexed. hell, i would’ve loved if my parents had even listened to rock-n-roll let alone turned it up to the proper therapeutic levels…
back to bed
Thursday, April 19th, 2007don’t know why i bother getting out of bed. nothing good ever comes of it.
yelling kids.
dire financial situation.
loneliness.
…ad nauseum.
declaration
Monday, April 16th, 2007i love him.
i have said this before. however, i did not know until recently the seriousness of the declaration.
i love him. i love him. i love him.
i now know.
i love him.
fat rebels
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007sick of these fuckingretarded never-ending online ads for some diet or another. no wonder everyone is so goddamn fat, it’s rebellion.
token
Sunday, April 8th, 2007the devastating irony being that although i finally received the token i’ve been wishing for for so long, it is now—most certainly—too late.